Single Parent Families Support Each Other

Turn the phrase “busier than a one-armed paper hanger”into “busier than a one-parent family” and it becomes an apt description of what a number of Christ Church members face every day.

Both Anne White, with two children, and Walt O’Shea, with three, mentioned logistics when asked to describe their daily challenges. “Trying to get children where they need to be,” Anne said, is more difficult when there’s only one parent. There are “career adjustments,” Walt said while driving to a business meeting in Orlando. For example, “you don’t have the flexibility to go to work early.” In the midst of that busy lifestyle, “being a single parent can be lonely at times,” says Jeni Chattaway, who has four children aged two to eight and is also the guardian of her 16-year old cousin. In addition, there can be financial challenges and emotional issues – Anne cited “how to make good parenting choices, not overcompensating because of guilt, creating a positive environment with the other parent, working out co-parenting responsibilities.”

Dealing with all those matters leaves little time for fellowship, as the Solo Flight ministry came to realize. While someone with no children at home can choose to go kayaking, build a Habitat home, attend a luncheon or go on a retreat, single parents may have childcare and financial issues to consider before they can do those activities. “We were overlooking the needs of that group,” Walt said. But no longer. The new Single Parent Families ministry is addressing their needs.

With clergy support from Associate Rectors Bob Morris and Luke Jernagan and initial assistance from the Solo Flight leadership, the Single Parent Families ministry has started a speaker series on the first Wednesday of each month. In addition, monthly fellowship activities, some with children and some for parents with childcare provided, are being planned.

“The best thing is that they all have a shared experience, one that a lot of other people can’t relate to.” said Luke, who himself grew up in a single parent family. While many church activities are geared to two-parent families, he realizes, it’s important to include single parent families, with an understanding of their specific needs. In addition, he says, “the church will hopefully get a broader view of what it means to be a family.”

Jeni agrees. She values getting together with others “who can appreciate the non-stop stress” of single parenthood. She also feels that the new ministry can draw “more faithful parishioners.” With a hectic lifestyle, “going to church can fall off the priority list,” she admits, “but if you’re meeting friends there, it’s back on the list.” Making friends with others in similar situations is also valuable for children in single parent families. They may “feel unique,” Walt says, but getting to know others “provides comfort and fellowship.” And, he adds, because “the church is a community of people who worship together, when you strengthen any subset, you strengthen the church.” The goal of the Single Parent Families ministry, Anne concludes, is “not to create a stand-alone group, but to integrate it into the church, to find creative ways to work within the church.”

- by Kathy Cramer